Mets 14, Rockies 9

So what? Cespedes hit 3 dingers. 7 RBI. Whatever. It ain’t shit. Kirk hit 3 dingers IN QUEENS. Not this easy Colorado shit. Why pay Cespedes? Why bother? I say we pay Kirk and cut our losses with this guy. It’s not like Cespedes is the best hitter in franchise history. It’s not like he’s the impact bat we’ve desperately craved for 6 years. It’s not like he’s leading us to a division title or anything…

Meanwhile, Duda is dead. His back is out again. Our back specialist was just given a raise.