Mets 2, Brewers 0

WOW! We did it! We’re back at .500! We took 1 out of 8 on the road! All is well! All is well!

Some random notes:

~Tejada striking out with the bases loaded and 1 out was the lock of the century.

~I fucking hate that deGrom (at 100 pitches) got subbed out for Mayberry in the top of the 9th. I understand that Familia needs some work. God knows there hasn’t been a save opportunity on the road in about a fucking month, but 1) LET HIM FINISH!! LET HIM FINISH!! Give him 15 fucking pitches! Do you not remember what happened last time?!? Let him go for the fucking shut piece. Ronnie was pissed, and I’m with him. 2) He’s a better hitter than Mayberry, anyway.

~While on the subject of deGrom, he should be playing SS on non-pitching days.

~We’re 26-11 at home, and 11-26 on the road. 37-37, now 74 games deep. What a dogshit organization. The Wilpons have hamstrung Sandy (see Jose Reyes), and it’s all one big joke.

~Did y’all see the baserunning mental error that cost us a run in the 2nd? It’s a travesty. The Brewers are a baaaad team. All you have to do is play baseball! We can’t play baseball. It’s amazing. We actually don’t know how to play.

You can click the picture to zoom in and whatnot, but you might not want to do that. I suggest averting your eyes.

Brewers 4, Mets 1

The Mets have lost 7 in a row. They have scored 9 runs during that span. Yes, you read that right.

And we knew it was going to happen, too. The second we peeped the lineup, we knew it was over. Tejada, Money Monell, Soup…just absolutely no way we were doing jack shit. Worst lineup in franchise history. Binghamton has a better lineup. So do the 51s.

Our lineup did this last night: 3 hits, 1 walk, 1 double play. 30 batters in total. Team BA of .100 niiiiiiice.

It was officially over in the bottom of the 1st inning, when Colon let up two runs. The game started at 8:10 and ended at 8:22.

Lucas Duda made mental error # 1 billion on the season. Claim your prize, Lucas! It was followed by what was scored a hit in the playbook, but only because Flores is a Mighty Oak at SS. Then, a run scored, making for immediate capitalization on our mental error and shitty defense.

Preblow: deGrom goes tonight. YOU KNOW THE DEAL!! CGSO OR BUST!! Nothing else can be said about the preblow. That’s it. CGSO or bust. That’s actually IT. There’s nothing else to report. Sandy Alderson is a Mighty Oak at GM, so nothing will move, and this shit will stay exactly the same, and it will be dogshit.

Brewers 3, Mets 2

6 losses in a row.

8 dogshit seasons in a row.

9 rookies on the team.

1 little baby bitch owner.

We made an error, an unearned run came in, and THAT’S THE GAME. Did the Mets have a hit after the 4th inning?

The Mets are at .500 again. They score less runs than the Phillies. I think we will finish above them in the standings, but don’t be surprised if the Mets finish in 4th.

Preblow: Tolo goes tonight. Whatever. Who cares? The Mets are 3-17 in their last 20 road games.

This is the worst season I’ve ever seen. I’ve never seen a team do less with more. I’ve never seen a starting rotation this good, and that’s what makes it all the worse.

Here’s what has happened in the last 24 hours. None of this is exaggerated or spun or given the usual Metsblow zing. This is just the hard poop.

~Opening Day 2014 starter Dillon Gee went unclaimed and got bounced to Vegas. He is, in the eyes of Major League Baseball, officially worthless.

~The Cubs tried to trade with us and we passed. We passed on Baez, an objectively better SS than anyone we have.

~Mets postseason odds, according to the all-knowing computer on mlb.com, hit a season low at 28%.

~With Conforto raking in the minors, Sandy announced that he had no intention of bringing him up.

~The Athletics openly stated they are willing to deal Zobrist, a stud that plays multiple infield positions that we desperately need. We made a hard pass.

~Daniel Murphy suffered a setback. This is the 2nd time in a week that the Mets have lied about his return date.

~Travis d’Arnaud, expected back in the lineup today, is still hyperextended. He’s probably dead. HYPER MODE activated *cue music from Marvel v. Capcom.*

~The normally sycophantic Mets media is pushing for Flores to be moved off SS. The normally sycophantic Mets media, for the first time I’ve ever seen, is fed up. Usually they call for the manager’s head (they’re doing that, too) as a way to alleviate blame from the front office. Today, they are vocally distraught over the polarization of our pitching and the rest of our play. They are deeming Sandy a “procrastinator,” and saying that a move must be made now. Because the future is now. They’re actually quoting Metsblow. It’s a sight to behold. The Mets front office can’t even keep the guys they pay to write nice things in check.

~Former Met Darryl Hamilton was tragically shot and killed in a murder-suicide.

There you have it. Today in Metsblow nation.