Author: metsblow

We Brought It Home!

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We’ll name him ‘Dinger’

Well, at least for one day, we brought the power back home to Shitti. Walker is just one home run away from tying the franchise record for April (9) with Mets studs Carlos Delgado and uhh…John Buck. So yeah that record means absolutely nothing. I think it’s shared with Dave Kingman, too. Have a good contract year, Neil 🙂 

Too bad TC pulled Thor early and he didn’t get the W. But the team did, so that’s good. That BASHTARD Bastardo walked the first guy he faced. Oy vey.

Keep up the merciless beatdown of the doodoo teams. 

Pray for Yo. Pray for d’Arnaud. 

Bring It Home

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The Mets swept the Braves. They went 7-2 on this road trip, hitting about a million dingers. deGrom is deBest. Familia was shaky but got it done. Learn to pitch, though. Their bats should never touch the ball on 0-2 counts. 

But can they bring it home?! Get ready for the bats to dry the fuck up, especially if Yo is still hurt.

It’s amazin’ that now that the Mets have achieved the seemingly difficult part (assembling incredible talent–pitchers with great stuff and hitters that mash), they can’t do the easy stuff that teams have to do. Fundies! Baserunning! Run manufacturing and not making sloppy plays. My god that extra inning game in Philly was terrible.

The Mets are not yet a championship team because of these flaws. They have to get it right and are capable of it but I haven’t seen it yet. Terry, take a page out of Joe Maddon’s book, or Bobby V’s book, and get your players’ heads out of their asses. 

In “watch the standings” news: the Twins have their heads waaaaay up their asses, throwing meat to pinch-hitter Bryce Harper in the bottom of the 9th and allowing him to hit a game tying dinger. All ego, no brains. Just retarded. By the way, why was he pinch hitting? Day game rest after a night game? Pusssssssies. He ain’t David Wright. He’s a healthy kid. Cal Ripken is rolling his eyes. I thought Dusty Baker was old school. Harper prolly would’ve had 3 dingers. 

Back to Back (Again?)

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Walker & Dru hit back 2 back jacks. The Mets have gone back 2 back in four of their last five games.

Mets win. Here’s what went wrong:

*Matz threw an 0-2 cookie to lefty Freeman and got punished for it. Learn to pitch! TDA and TC, it’s on you, too.

*Other than dingers or errors, we don’t score.

*deGrom is pitching tomorrow, so Terry should not have used Verrett (in case deGrom needs to depart early…I imagine he’ll be limited to 80 or so pitches).

*Cespedes is dead. Neon green rain. 

Happy Passover from the Mets

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The Mets beat the Braves (the worst team in the division) and so on this Passover, we ask four questions:

1) Will the Wilpons spend another penny this season? No–we’re full.

2) Will Grandy break out of his slump? Yes–2 dingers.

3) Will Terry rest a banged up Yo? He better.

4) Can we absolutely demolish the Braves all season long and then demolish Turner Field once and for all? We better. 

Mets Can’t Sweep Phils

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Derrr, which way does the broom go?

Mets lose to the Phils in extra innings. Out-depth’d. Wow. That’s bad. Wright missing that foul ball. Oops. The wild pitch. Garbage. Umps taking away Asdrubal’s dinger (horrible fan interference call) away and us not being able to score otherwise. Terrible. 

Now we go to Atlanta. The Braves are even worse. Our biggest obstacle is that Turner Field is haunted, and now that the stadium won’t exist much longer, the maintenance crew is phoning it the fuck in and everyone is complaining about how bad the field conditions are. 

Dingers! Dingers!

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A wink that says, “That would’ve been out at Shitti, too.”

Mets 11, Phils 1

Wow. Somebody put an asterisk next to all of J-Roll’s stats because this stadium is a JOKE.

Great to see dinger after dinger. We all love slow-pitch softball. I’m not concerned or anything. I’m just saying at some point we’ll have to prove we can play sound offense because we don’t get to play in this tiny, shitty stadium (re: city) every day.

Verrett making a bid to be a part of this staff. Obviously, he’s established himself as the long man (until Wheeler comes back and Colon likely takes that role). deGrom is set to start on Sunday.

Quietly–and with dignity–the Mets’ infield has done exactly what we hoped. It’s still early, but they are making routine plays and it is fascinating. The supposedly “not so good at defense” boys are soooo much better than the “born to DH” combo of Flores/Murph. 

Lagares made an unbelievable catch to rob a dinger. How’s his arm? Pretty sure newly christened mop up man Montero was in at the time. 

Let’s sweep this shitty–but not as shitty as last year–team.  

David Wright Should Finish His Career in Philly

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wright phillyMets 5, Phils 2

I guess we’d all love to hit at Baby Park. Good for Wright. Good for everyone. Dingers! Dingers! Dingers! Keep piling ’em on. I still think Asdrubal should hit 2nd. He notched 3 more hits today. I love Wright. Don’t get me wrong. What’s not to love? He even made a nice play today (that didn’t require a throw with lots of zip). I hope he proves me wrong, but realistically, unless he’s going to be a selfish douche insecure bitch “Face of the Franchise” like Jeter was, he’s going to have to move down in the order at some point. Prove me wrong! Don’t die!

Nobody let Thor eat a damn sandwich ever again! Jeez, ever since #sandwichgate, Thor has torn it up. He’s really blossoming. That Thor’s so hot right now.

This game was too close for too long. Eickhoff? Really!?

Hey, while everybody is going apeshit over Daniel Murphy’s hot start, ask yourselves: Who is leading the Mets in HRs? Neil Walker, baby. Who is playing adequate defense? Neil Walker, baby. We all know Murphy is great. It really shouldn’t surprise anyone that he’ll hit .300 with Harper behind him. .415 is pretty damn surprising, and if the season ends with him batting .350, then yeah, I’ll be surprised. But hey, the Nats paid him. I don’t know why everyone is going apeshit. He plays Murphyball. We all know about the .400 hitting Murphy. That’s the same Murphy who runs the bases like shit and boots routine plays. And we still like him! Because he can be a +2. We know this. 2015 NLCS MVP kaboom Jesus. He’s a good pleeeyer. Move on.

Murphy leads the NL in batting average. Who is in 2nd place? Angel Pagan. We know he was damn good, too! At least Neil “full fledged Major Leaguer” Walker replaced Murph. Pagan got replaced by Andres Torres. OOPS! 5 years later, Pagan is still good but I’ll take Conforto-Cespedes-Grandy. Good players on good teams, all around.

 

What Did We Learn This Weekend?

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learnstan

We learned…

1) The Mets can actually win a series against a mediocre-at-best team.

2) Matz is fine.

3) Even aces struggle. Harvey, Kluber, Greinke…it happens. The sky isn’t falling.

4) Conforto should always bat 3rd. In fact, it should probably be Asdrubal 2nd while we’re at it. Walker 5th. Duda 6th.

5) Despite Conforto being amazing, this lineup still goes as Cespedes goes. We learned that from last season, obviously. Murphy had Yo behind him. Now he has Harper behind him. Conforto has Yo behind him. That shit matters. NO FUCKING DUHH. If you only learned this one this past weekend, you’re an idiot.

6) The Nats aren’t as shitty as they were last season.

7) Papelbon is just as shitty as ever. CHOKE CHOKE CHOKE. No, I’m referring to him blowing the game, not to what he does to MVPs in the dugout.

8) The Phillies aren’t as shitty as they were last season. We went 14-5 against them, but really it was 14-2 (we were swept by them after clinching the division). Their pitching is decent and their lineup sucks. We should still mow them the fuck down.

Happy #HarveyDay?

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sadbatman
Blowing a lead? That makes me a saaaaaad Batman.

Yup, this one’s all on our Dark Knight. I know our lead was slim, but we gave Harvey a lead and it’s his job to hold it. That perfect game bid went really fucking sour really fucking quickly. Harvey’s 0-3 and this one’s on him.

Montero didn’t do him any favors, basically letting the game slip away with his awful appearance.

Grandy went yard (to lead off the game). So did Yo and Walker. That’s good stuff. The bats are warming up. However, despite the long balls, we’re not hitting. I know chicks dig the long ball, but you’ve gotta get runners in when they’re in scoring position. We’re not. At all.

TDA got HBP and is now DED. He says that it’s fine. Great. Cya in 3 months.

Thoughts and prayers are with the deGrom family, of course. deGrom’s absence made some room for Soup to rejoin the roster, just to add insult to injury.

We really needed that game. Now we face Kluber in the rubber game. We’ll see how Matz does coming off his worst start ever (in his short career). He’s on regular rest, and many claimed his extended rest was the reason for his struggles last outing. Collins gave too much rest to some and too little rest to others? WHAAAA??

Tolo Scalps Tribe

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colonthrowing

Mets 6, Redfaced Savages 5

Tolo loves the Indians. Yo loves the Indians. Awesome. These two guys know this park. Good to see all the dingers. Bats are warming up!

How fucking good is Uribe!? Why did we let him go!? I suppose the answer is obvious. It’s the same answer as always. It’s the same reason why Mike Piazza’s 9/11 jersey went on sale. Jews gonna jew.

This game should not have ended up as close as it was. Tolo eventually stumbled, and the Mets got lackadaisical with the lead after going up 6-1. They had opportunities to get insurance but left runners stranded. Other than Conforto’s early dinger and then the 3-home-run inning (De Aza, Yo, Walker), we didn’t take advantage of much.

Harvey’s gotta go out there and lock this series up before we face Kluber on Sunday.