Month: September 2016

Clap For Concession

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“Max Scherzer against the Mets? No thanks, we’ll save him for a real team.” -Dusty Baker

2 out of 3 against a team giving it away? Hoo-fucking-ray. Thanks for conceding the series. Thanks for rigging it. I guess the Mets are supposed to get in? Grrrrrreat.

Nice oppo dinger, Bruce. Nice baserunning, too. Nice slide.

Grandy cleanup, huh?! Well someone half-decent has to back up Yo. It makes sense. His anomalous RISP numbers aren’t gonna even out all the way this season, but it’s nice to see.

Shoutout to “Mr. Consistency” Addy Reed. 

ESPN is truly unwatchable. I’d rather watch the Cellino & Barnes ad on repeat during SNY commercial breaks than the shit they hock on ESPN. The announcers are fucking dreadful. Michael Kay bad. To Rosenthal and Verdouchey and the rest of those mooks: Fuck you. 

Put This Season To Bed

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deGrom added to the hall of faces. We’re dunzo.

Thor being outdueled by a total scrub. Terry not starting Loney (against a righty) and going with Flores? Hmmmm, ya think Loney might’ve been able to help Thor hold runners on? Do ya? Do ya?! We’re dunzo.

Let’s bring in the lefty specialist to face Murph & Bryce in the 9th! Gotta keep it close! Oops single. Oops double. Oops they both scored. We’re dunzo.

The slow burn of this season is even worse than the 2007 shocker. Yes we had pitching problems all 2007 and it caught up to us, but at least we were winning for a while. The collapse was swift. That was a bullet to the head. This is Ramsay Bolton kinda shit. No hope. All torture. All injuries and garbage baseball. The train never even left the station. 

We’re dunzo. Oh and when Yo is a National next year with a not-so-steep 5yr/125mil contract, I’m going to shoot the Jewpons. 

What deFuck?

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The Marlins without Stanton are like the Mets without Cespedes. They should lose every game. Just don’t pitch to Yellich. But with Ye looking like Yo, and with us pitching to his skinny white ass for no apparent reason, we managed to blow the good feelings we had built up over the series.

Ace on the mound? Check. With extra rest? Check. Ace gets beat up for the 3rd straight time? Check. Ace seen with trainer/Dr. Kevorkian Ray Ramirez? Check.

So it’s simply about stepping up, now. Conforto. Montero. Ynoa. Just gotta step up. That’s all there is to it. We’re beleaguered and here come the Nats ready to wipe us off the map. There’s no hiding. The prospects have to step up. Jelly has to step up. Pen has to step up. Never put Smoker in again. I can’t believe he was in in the first place, but I guess Terry conceded the game once deGrom got touched up. Yo wasn’t even in the lineup so Jake never had a chance. Thanks Terry.

Can Clutch Jelly Do It Every Day?

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Photo of Neil Walker, or Wright, or half the team…

So Jelly’s gonna play 2nd now? All is well? All is well!!!! He got it done last night! That means we don’t need Walker, who is opting for surgery and is dunzo for the year, right?

Mets fucking blow.

Oh wait it’s September! That means rosters expand! We can see Dilson Herrera play 2nd…wait…