Month: August 2016

The Most Ridiculous Loss of All Time

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Let’s recap what happened last night:

Duda suffered a setback. He’s DEAD. The Mets badly bungled this one. Not the first time they’ve mishandled an injury.

Yo got placed on the DL. He’s DEAD. The Mets BADLY bungled this one. They mishandled an injury…again? What!? I can’t type fast enough.

The Mets stranded a BILLION runners. The microcosm of the season. I’ve never seen so many DPs. Ow. Bases loaded? Nobody out? Right where they want us. Unwatchable garbage.

And it all happened against the Yankees (D-squad Yankees. Post blowout trade deadline sales of all their best players Yankees. Particularly their relief pitchers Yankees) in a joke stadium where runs are given away for free.

OUR WORST NIGHTMARE has come true. Cespedes is gone. And he won’t get resigned, either. I’m glad it came at a time where I don’t even give a shit anymore because this team fucking blows.Oh, god, pay him. Pleeeeeeeeez Jesus God. We still have a window open for the next couple of years.

And to those who say that we are “still in” the hunt or whatever: We are a bad team. I’ve been on teams with bad records that were “one click away” and playoff teams that got lucky and got smoked by the elite. We are NOT one click away. Unless we get hot (Bruce!? Wheeler?!), then there’s no point in watching. It’d have to “click in” for guys that weren’t here before (Bruce included). Ty Jelly! Reynaldo! Dilson! Oh, wait. Damn.

I say cover the damn field. Pay Yo for 5 years and let him golf his way back to full health for next season. But hey, if Yo comes off the DL at full strength and powers us into the 2nd WC spot, you put deGrom out there and you keep Thor loose if it’s a close game and deGrom can only battle through 6. I’m optimistic, but I’m also not really watching. No reason to watch without Yo. And hey, this was the most ridiculous loss ever, but so was two nights before that one. So was almost every game in July. And June. I’m sure today will be even worse. Resilience! Weak NL! Oh but we can’t beat the Braves, either. All good! Only 2 games out! Blinders!

Can Cespedes DH?

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So the DH is gay as shit. And you know this, maaaaan. Buuuut, we’ve got 5 AL games in a row. We’ve got a new OF in Bruce. De Aza is contributing to the de squad (championed by deGrom, of course), and Cespedes could use some rest but we desperately need him. I guess if he can’t run the bases, then it’s not worth it. See how he’s feeling. I wish there was no DH. I wish we didn’t have to talk about it. For fucks sake, I see GIRL pitchers taking their ABs. DH is some soft ass bullshit.

Fuck the Yankees. I still can’t believe we let them get 1 in Shitti. We looooove losing games in historically bad fashion. Even Niese couldn’t blow it last night, though.

Also, pay Yo. Sign him for 5 years right fucking now.

Is This Even Worth Reporting?

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Take a guess at what happened with the tying run on 3rd and 1 out. GUESS. Go on. Guess. Guess!

Mets BLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW. When Cespedes isn’t in the lineup, and especially with Verrett pitching (who pitched fine), it’s not worth watching. Start the boycott now. Pay Yo.

By the way, why didn’t Terry just bring in Reed at the start of the 8th? Oh, because he’s sore? So you didn’t want to use him? But you ended up using him anyway? And he blew a late lead? Does that sound FAMILIAr to you!?!?

Mets.com Reports “Mets Get Bruce For 2 Prospects”

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WOOOOOOW did y’all get hoodwinked!!

2 prospects? You mean 2 prospects including mediocre 1st round prospect Nimmo? OOOOOOH WAIT! Gotta love how they get the media to spin it. Every damn time.

The Reds bait & switched for Dilson and y’all took it!! FUCKING EGG ON YOUR MOTHERFUCKING FACES YOU STUPID JEWS!! No cheese with those eggs.

Pray for Jay. He’s just what we need: an all or nothing type! We only have 12 of those on the team so far.

Dilson ain’t like the 2nd coming or anything. But he could’ve very well been the long term the solution at 2B. Walker is gonna walk after this season. Reyes to 2B? Flores? Real Grease Cecchini? What the fuck?

 

Mets Make a Deal for Bruce

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dealwaynebrady

UPDATE: Deal is for Dilson! Dilson (and Wotell) not Nimmo. FUUUUUUCK. That’s SO MUCH MORE to give up. Dilson is a much better prospect than Nimmo. Mets BLOOOOOW. Also we apparently got Niese back haha.

Nimmo will be good, maybe? Nimmo and two low-level prospects for Jay Bruce. Welp, we’ve got a cleanup hitter now. We’ve got someone behind Yo. It’s good for now.

But this concerns me for the offseason. I see the Jew wheels of manipulation turning. We’re gonna let Yo walk and say that’ its ok because we have Bruce. The Piazza ceremony really showed how we never EVER have nice things. We gave Piazza 7 years and he deserved it and the returns are still glorious. He’s still helping the Jewpons rake it in. Pay Yo. He doesn’t need 10 years. Give him 5. Give him something. We’d be in last place without him. Pay him.

Desperate Fans Get Just A Taste

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Fam looked rested and notched another save.

Who’s happy about Thor blowing maaaad leads? Bone spur alert! There was an unearned run there. 

Cabrera dead! Reyes dead! Wilmer can’t make the throw! Cecchini time! The Real Grease!

Mets fan will desperately cling to the narrative that Walker’s late HR  will propel us somehow. Uhhhh we lost 3 out of 4 to a better team. Better even though they’re under .500 because if you watch the fucking games, you can tell.

We’re dessimated. Pray for Yo. Pray for Wheeler as he faces batters tomorrow. Pray we get Beltran back before we have to face him.