Well, hopefully the Padres dish Upton before tonight.
Either way, the Nats are coming this weekend. The Padres suck. We need all these games. Must win both series. The Nats are fucking retarded. They got rid of their two best players not named Bryce (LaRoche and Clippard). They haven’t recovered from the hubris of shutting down Strasburg in the playoffs a few years ago. They’re dumb. DUMB DUMB DUMB. Meanwhile the Maverick went full Maverick and got us Clippard. Brilliant. I’m in shock.
We’re way better than we were a week ago, that’s for sure. Are we good enough? This week will say a lot. A LOT A LOT. Big game James up against us tonight. Can we hit? DO WE HAVE AN OFFENSE?
B-U-N-T bunt, in perfect cursive…any more brain busters?Mets 3, Dodgers 2
Of course it was deGrom that broke up Greinke’s scoreless streak. Of course.
Kirk started over Juanny. Look at today’s lineup! When it comes to the lineup, everyone is now fighting for a spot. In all seriousness, this was the biggest game of the season. deGrom knew it. The hitters knew it. The win has sent shockwaves throughout the league. The talking heads are screaming, “MAVERICK! MAVERICK!” They should be–the trade was huge, and Conforto is a delight to watch at the plate. He’s also been in two outfield collisions in two days.
Our August schedule is dogshit weak. Our September schedule is dogshit weak. Look at the schedule. Ok…now actually: Look at the schedule. It’s dogshit! Nats and Pirates. Yankees. Everything else is against our shitty division opponents or other shitty teams. Even the Orioles are below .500 at this point. We finish the season against the Nats. Could that matter? We have a real opportunity.
Familia–who for NO FUCKING REASON pitched yesterday–blew the save today. He needed his reps! REPS!! Well hey, Uribe got to Jansen! Uribelievable!! Hitters! HITTERS! Dudes with rings! Wow. The Dodgers can really hit, and they got to our elite closer. We did the same thing to them. One note on Familia is that he better be ready to pitch on back-to-back-to-back-to-etc. days down the stretch. Pick up that damn win for deGrom next time. Shake it off. Everyone loses. Even Mo. This is the first adversity Jeurys has faced. His response to this is what matters. He’s been outstanding, and is still young (25) and inexperienced.
Hey, all you pessimists: The Mets have never let us down before. I see no reason not to get your hopes impossibly high.
Also, fuck the Yankees. The Royals got Cueto.
TDA played for Bing yesterday. He did well. Chooooo. It’s all lining up! It’s all scripted. This house of cards is about to collaaappsseeeee.
On the greatest day in 6 years, the Mets still managed to remind us that they’re the Mets.
We brought up Conforto and got Kelly Johnson and Juan Uribe from the Braves. A glorious day. They’re instantly the three best hitters on the team. However, we’re still the Mets, and we still got beaten badly. Granted, Johnson and Uribe didn’t officially join the roster until after the game, but the game was a nice reminder that we’re completely inept at offense.
We have scored 2 runs in the past 18 innings. Before that, in an 18 inning game, we scored 1 run (until TOOOOTALLY BREAKING IT OPEN). So Conforto basically doubled our RBI total. I have high hopes for Uribe and Johnson. They’re both batting over .270!! They’re the only two on the team that have those stats now!
I won’t say what everyone else is saying. Even the syocphantic blogs are starting to “pull a Metsblow” and call for Jeff’s (aka Joffrey’s) head. Good on them. Glad to have an effect on people.
All I’ll say is this:
To anyone who is saying, “well it’s Kershaw,” let me ask you this:
Was it Kershaw who threw a no-hitter against us? No. It was a medicore-at-best rookie for SF, and they did it IN FLUSHING.
We get shutout every other fucking day. Kershaw has nothing to do with it.
Our cleanup hitter, Mayberry, is batting .170, while our #5 hitter, Soup, is batting .179…oh and Tolo, our pitcher? He’s batting .147 hahaha.
Thank God Greinke is having a baby, otherwise it’d be back-to-back CGSOs guaranteed. Instead, the Mets face scrub Ian Thomas tonight. CGSO almost guaranteed.
Ooooh real crazy pinch hitting for deGrom–our best hitter–and getting it done. Woooow. Such a tough decision.
So our ace got it done. We got a W. Now people are talking about how we can win the series. Uhhh, shut the fuck up. Zimmerman is gonna throw a no-no today.
Are we gonna get Parra and Zobrist? Not a chance. The front office likes our team as is. They like the league minimum players that play like they deserve the league minimum just fine. And they like making Cuddy run the bases to further derail his career.
Maybe we’ll trade Montero for Zobrist, and then not re-sign Zobrist. That’d be a real Maverick move.
One more look at last night’s lineup.Nats 7, Mets 2
So who knocked in 2 for the Mets? Was it Murph, batting .268? Was it our amazing 4-5-6 combo of Flores, Mayberry, and Campbell?
It was Harvey.
Yes. It was the pitcher. Shocking.
Look at that lineup again. LOOK AT IT!
Not to mention the D. With proper bookkeeping, really only 2 of the Nats runs were earned. Not that it matters, because the second they took the lead (first inning), it was over. But I’m just saying that I’m not too worried about Harvey’s pitching performance.
Metsblow is supposedly a humor site. “Comedy” is one of the categories. “Satire” is one of the categories. But I literally do nothing. I just post a picture of the lineup, and that’s all the comedy I need. You can’t be funnier than that lineup. There’s no bigger joke.
Here’s a joke: Two Jews, a father and son, buy a baseball team…
MetsBlow 
