Mejia Banned For Life

“I don’t want you bidniss no more.” -Joe the fruit store guy and also apparently the commish.
Well, Mejia has reached a new level of baller status. He doesn’t give a FUCK. Wow. I respect it. It takes a special kind of indifference/cool/delusion/apathy to do what he did. I’m impressed.

More importantly, pray that Wheeler comes back strong and that Tolo can move into a beneficial bullpen role. Pens are always the toughest to predict. Obviously, it’s a shame that Mejia is out (for doing what everyone does…but more often and with outdated drugs and more recklessly?) and it’s a shame that we lost Clip but we move forward. Start the damn season already.

P.S. How fucking good is Team Banned? Shoeless Joe, Pete Rose, and now they have a stud closer. Great team.


Please Do NOT Get Rid of Mejia

Jenrry Mejia
Jenrry Mejia

Mejia has been suspended for 162 games for using PEDs. Baaaaallllin. So ballin. Juicing while on parole for juicing. So ballin. Of course, getting caught isn’t ballin.

Everyone is clamoring for his removal from the team.


It costs ZERO dollars if he gets banned. Wouldn’t you rather see if our elite closer can come back next season in a Mets uniform, rather than another one? It costs ZERO dollars if he gets caught.

The people calling for Mejia’s head are the same nutjobs that called for ARod’s. Uhhhh…soooo…how did keeping him work out for the Yankees? Fucking idiots. PEDs aren’t shit. Everyone’s on them. Who cares? Do you drink coffee before you go to your Wall Street job? That’s a PED. Do you smoke weed for rapping? That’s a PED. PEDs are awesome. The only real criminals in baseball were the people that didn’t play against black people. Those records should be asterisked the fuck up.

Keep Mejia. For the love of Gawd, keep Mejia.

P.S. Clippard looked real good last night.

Alderson on Mejia (Another Non-Concern)


As you know, Jenrry Mejia was suspended for performance-enhancing drugs. Apathetic Alderson took a hard-nosed, I really-want-to-be-commish-someday stance, and said there may not be a spot for Mejia when his suspension ends.

Wow, Sandy. And I thought your lack of concern for Thor was bad. This is next-level apathy. Jay Cutler–I don’t caaaaaare–style detachment. I guess the only way for Mejia to earn his spot back will be to juice so heavily during his suspension that he’s throwing 105 by the time he gets back.

Mejia Suspended 80 Games


Oops! Stanozolol. Lol. Oops.

This probably means our whole team is juicing up. Sheeeiit. Gotta watch out. Every team is. I’m not an anti-steroids guy. Put an asterisk next to Bonds’ record, fine. Put an asterisk next to Babe Ruth’s record, too, for not having to play night games…and not having to play against non-white people. Asterisks for everyone! I’m old! I’m cranky! I don’t like change!

Anyway, everyone who wins is a cheater, or at least a gamer. Thankfully Colon is using blood spinning technology. Mejia should’ve used that, too. We’re deep. We don’t need him. Hopefully Parnell is back soon.

80 game suspension means Mejia will be back for the 2nd half!

P.S. Mejia denied it. Someone must’ve slipped it into his cereal.

Mejia Isn’t Dead…

Mejia doing his best Khal Drogo impersonation.
Mejia doing his best Khal Drogo impersonation.

Mejia not dead, according to the “news” from the bought-off Jew media.

Mejia not dead, says a mortician.

He’s just day-to-day (aka dead). Just an opening day cortisone shot. What’s wrong with that? HGH shots, anyone?

It’s just inflammation. They say he may not even need DL right now. Just 10 days on the active roster and then the DL. Might as well keep the bench as short as possible.

“Well it depends on what you mean by structural damage. Because the skin on the outside is fine. Maybe a little dry.” -Sandy

“We’ve got aloe.” -Terry

UPDATE: 15 day DL. Hopefully nothing worse. He’s dead.

BREAKING: Mejia on Way Out

So I’m sure that this is related to the Mets not wanting to pay both Mejia and Familia is the main concern here but anyway…

Apparently the Mets are going to move Mejia by the All-Star Break. Apparently they like Familia better. He’s just more familiar to them. Errr…whatever. I like them both.

I want them all to rock. Let’s see a real competition. Mejia, Familia, Parnell, and Black all think they can be THE guy. They all think they can make big bucks. Let’s see the proof.

P.S. They say he’s hiding an injury. TJ?