Fred Wilpon addressed the Mets in a closed-door meeting this morning in the team’s clubhouse at Tradition Field, according to multiple reports.

An anonymous player said, “It was the best meeting I’ve ever been a part of.”

Well, the guy asked to be anonymous, so let’s just say his name was Jeff W. No, that’s too obvious. How about J. Wilpon?

Good fucking God, Fred. How much did you pay the media to publish this shit? Oh thank god you talked to the players! We know it’s tough for you to step down from On High and waste precious minutes in the dull, murky underbelly of society (re: a nice ass clubhouse filled with millionaires but not billionaires), and we’re so thankful for your speech!

If I was a player, here’s a speech I’d love from my owner: “Win the World Series and I’ll personally give each of you three million dollars in cash.” Then, I’d get that speech in writing–signed and notarized.

P.S. If the Mets win and do well this year, how often do you think we’re going to hear about this preseason speech? Every week? Every day?