Preblow: Sexy Vs. Dickpiece

No batting for Colon tonight...
No batting for Colon tonight…

Welp, we either split the series or we win it. Not too shabby. It’d be nice to win a road game once in a while. That’s asking too much, I suppose.

Big Sexy will not be batting. Damn DH. Awful rule. AWFUL.

R.A. (Really Awesome) Dickey will face the Mets, including the man he was traded for: Travis d’Arnaud. Thor already showed the Jays that we got the best of the trade. MAVERICK!

The Mets are fucking dogshit on the road. Get it together for one game. This isn’t the same Dickey that won the Cy Young. This is a homer-happy stadium so let’s see some fucking runs. Getting blanked in Toronto last night was fucking embarrassing. Do your jobs.

Postblow: Oh, Right, We’re The Mets…

Layin' an egg
Layin’ an egg

Blue Jays 8, Mets 0

People almost forgot. Hell, even I was a bit excited. The Blue Jays were the hottest team in the league and we put our streak-killing aces out there and won a couple.

But…we’re the Mets, remember? We laid a big, fat egg last night. A classic shutout. Our 3-run cap is no joke. We really do have a limit. We were careful and didn’t even come close to it last night. We were hitless with RISP.

Niese pitched well against a team that kills lefties. Akeelah and the Bee pitched so poorly in his ML debut that he was sent back down. Whoops.

Murphy’s return date has been DELAYED. Duhhh. Now it’s Tuesday instead of Saturday. Just another day or two! And Reyes will be back tomorrow!

Preblow: Mets Travel to Toronto for 2 Games

We miss them.
We STILL miss them.

The Mets took both games at Shittifield. Now we face them for 2 games on the road, where we usually BLOW. Also, we’ll get to see Dickey on Thursday! The BJs really should’ve had him start at Shitti. Dude fucking owned that place.

Niese takes the bump tonight…a BIG bump if you’ve seen that schnoz of his…

Niese is a lefty. The Blue Jays DESTROY lefties. Especially in Toronto. Awww, here it goes. Right, Kel?

aw here it goes kel

Preblow: Harvey Panic Button Game

Matt Harvey has basically been the worst pitcher in baseball for the past month. He’s been getting ROCKED.

Bury them tonight, Matt. Make Reyes look foolish (god I love Reyes…imagine if we still had him! Naah, we let him walk. Yay Wilpons) and show the league who you really are.

If Harvey gets rocked again, I think they need to consider a setback–maybe give Matz a turn in the rotation and let Harvey rest.

Whatever. Make all the speculation and concern moot. Have a big, Dark Knight kinda night, and show us all that you’re the truth.

Postblow: Don’t Get Too Excited

Mets 4, Blue Jays 3 (F/11)

Way to end the Jays’ winning streak. Way to do it like a bunch of assholes.

I don’t blame Familia. Collins keeps asking him for 4-out saves. His arm is fuuuucked.

Thor looked spectacular. He rolled with Buehrle and Buehrle has been one of the best for a decade now. Thor and TDA came over from the Jays (for Dickey) and that’s one trade that I can actually give the thumbs-up to.

Everyone’s talking about what a great comeback win it was. Well…uhhh….how bout we score some fucking runs so we don’t have to have a heart attack every damn game? Can we win a game by more than 1 run? Can we win a game in 9 innings?

Props to Cuddy for hustling. We have no team speed (Herrera looks fast! Herrera looks good!) but Cuddy has been known for his grit and it was on display last night. That’s how you manufacture runs. You have to fucking MOVE.

Preblow: Home and Home Against the (Of Course) Surging Blue Jays

We miss them.
We miss them.

~The Dickpiece will be pitching game 4 of the series. They should really have him pitch in Shitti Citi. He had the best season in Citi’s history. He owns the damn place.

~Blue Jays are suuuurging. 11 in a row. That sounds familiar. Lotta good it did the Mets–1st place! The Mets seem to run into streaking teams constantly. And we supposedly have the pitching to silence surging bats.

~Harvey v Reyes…SWEEEET.