Uhhhh, what the fuck are you talking about, Sandy? Did the booze get to you at the winter meetings? Or the pills? Or the hookers? 

The Nats signed Chris Sale.* They lost Melancon but he went to the Giants. I guess Bumgarner can’t pitch every inning. They’re making moves. I actually think our IF is okay, but we oughta get Trumbo. We should definitely get Chapman and Jansen. What, we’re not gonna get Chapman because he beat his wife? Familia’s gonna get suspended for the same fucking thing. 

Reyes can play 3rd. Our IF is okay, but Sandy, baby, you were doing well. We got Yo. Shut up about Wright. He’s dead. Hey, TDA blows/will get hurt so why not have Wright play catcher? He’ll be fine. 

*Update: Bahahah the Nats blew it. Got hoodwinked by the Sawx. Well, now they get to keep Giolito. Could be a blessing for ’em. Hopefully they’ll find another way to screw it up.** Meanwhile Yankees GM Cashman calls the Sawx the Warriors?! Uhhhh, wake up, fag. People call the Warriors the Yankees. Get a grip, motherfucker.

**Nats indeed found a way to screw it up. They dished Giolito (and more–a massive dump) for Eaton. Fine, bring on Eaton. Seems really dumb. It’s the rest of the division I’m worried about. Mainly just the Mets blowing is always the biggest concern.