Welp, it looks like striking out repeatedly in horrific fashion finally caught up to the old cocksucker. Striking out, doing a 360 like a ballerina, and bonking yourself in the back of the head with your bat is never a good combo.

Replacing Cuddyer will be my boy Darrell “Greasy” Ceciliani! He’s a wop genius. He’s got about 1 hit this year, which is more than Kirk! So greasy. Go greasy.

On a serious note, Cuddyer was ACTUALLY starting to turn things around (things other than his neck). It figures. Get a little bit hot, and the Gods smite thee! Meanwhile Tanaka is healthy and dominating, despite missing his UCL. Which team does God root for? I guess they’ve got Jesus AND Buddha over there. We only have the Many-Faced-God. Valar Morghulis. Metsar Injurus (All Mets must get injured).