Alright, let’s play catch up.

Saturday: Cards 12, Mets 2

Sunday: Mets 3, Cards 1 (f/18)

So Saturday was a really busy night for me. I didn’t have any time to watch the Mets. I took my phone out at about 7:45 to peep the score. Oh? 4-0 in the 1st? Oh, ok. Boy, I really wish i had time to see if the comeback kids could do it. Oh? It ended up being 12-2? Hmmmm.

So Colon’s done? Such a bummer. I think he might be out of the rotation soon. It’s a shame. He’s a fighter, but I think he might be done. He got another hit, though!

Should the Mets have just conceded after falling behind 4-0? Yes, but I don’t think the Cards would’ve let them. Lotta guys have Lackey on their fantasy teams. You gotta pad the stats, and pad them they did. The Cards just demolished us, as a good team should.

My softball team–Stanky Doodoo Farts–won both games of our doubleheader today. I believe we are better than the Mets.

On to today’s game:

Campbell got picked off.

Campbell struck out on a HAAAANGER. Keith groaned, “uuuuuggghhh.” He hates extra innings and he hates our offense. Keith went no-holds-barred on the dogshit Mets today. It was awesome. He hates them. And so do I, and so does everyone with a brain. The Metsmerized guy would probably say that today’s game was “fun and exciting.”

Each Campbell AB was worse than the last.

My stupid douche Yankee fan friend watched the game with me. When Monell came up to pinch hit with the bases loaded, he said, “.182 avg for a pinch hitter? That’s comical. Is that a misprint?” Monell failed to get it done, of course. deGrom came up as a PH later in the game. And he walked. deGrom should really be pinch hitting every fucking day. He’s the best pinch hitter we have by a mile.

Runner on 3rd. No outs. Top of the 13th. We’re now up 1-0. Can we get the insurance run? NOPE! No chance. Then Familia (noooooooo not you, too!) blows it in the bottom of the 13th! “Jeeeeeeez,” groaned Keith. Good thing we got that insurance run in, right? Oh wait, we didn’t.

Later in the game, Campbell missed 1st base!?? Can it get worse?! Is he the worst player in baseball? Can you tell me someone who’s worse?

The Mets tied a club record (25) for runners left on. This, of course, is the exact same problem that the Mets have had for years now. Nothing has changed. Every day is the same. As my war room has pointed out, this is Groundhog Day or Edge of Tomorrow or any time-loop paradox. The difference is that instead of spending each repeated day bettering themselves and trying to fix the situation, the Mets just do the same exact fucking thing over and over.

Recker has been called up! Monell demoted! Recker’s really mashing in Vegas. And we know how the Vegas numbers always translate!

Also Cuddy might be going to the DL. Also Lagares SHOULD go to the DL and get TJ. Also Metsblow. Shut the whole fucking thing down.