Midseason Report Card

You're all failures.
You’re all failures.
Hitting: F minus minus

Fielding: F minus minus

Pitching: A+

Ownership: F minus minus

Coaching: F minus minus

Medical Staff: F minus minus 


Team MVP: Jacob deGrom, our lone all-star. He deserves it.

Runner-Up: Familia – 27 saves.

Mr. Glass: TDA, for being even more hurt than Wright, somehow.

Stupid Idiot Award: Jeff Wilpon, for the ponzi scheme, the firing of that bastard’s mother, and for everything he says and does. It doesn’t need to be explained. In fact, let’s just call it the “Jeff Wilpon Award for Idiots.”

Jeff Wilpon Award Runner-Up: Murphy, for his anti-gay rhetoric and his baserunning and his fielding. You’ve got a cute baby. If you’re gonna tell him that gays will burn for eternity, at least hit .300/stop being so streaky. 

Roberto Alomar Award: Cuddyer, obviously. (This could also be called the Mo Vaughn award, or the Jason Bay award, or the Luis Castillo award, or the…I could go on forever).

He’s STILL starting award: Tejada

I’m not gonna say much here. We’re 47-42. We’re 2 games behind the Nats. We’re also 1 game behind the Cubs for the 2nd WC. Those are just facts. We are THAT CLOSE, despite having an official “F minus minus” rating in every statistical category besides pitching.

Enjoy the all-star break. Prepare for an atrocious 2nd half. Lotta road games (35 home, 38 away). @Cardinals, @Nats, and vDodgers right out of the break. Nowhere to hide.  Prepare for the universe to unfold as it should.

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