D-Wright filled his bedpan, rolled over–spine crackling–and looked up at his doctor.

With a flashlight shining into David’s eyes, the doctor gasped, looked at nurse Sandy, and said, “he’s still dead.” 

Well I for one am SHOCKED. I thought for sure that Wright would be back by May 15th like the team publicly announced.

If the Mets make a move before the trade deadline, I’ll be upset. Why risk spending 7–or even 8!–figures on a ballplayer when Wright is about to come back?! Who needs all stars?? Not us. We’ve got this. Cap’n Kirk and Soup.