Postblow: Meet The Matz

"I can't believe the Mets actually scored some runs." -Grandpa Matz
“I can’t believe the Mets actually scored some runs.” -Grandpa Matz

Game 1: Mets 2, Reds 1 (F/13)

Game 2: Mets 7, Reds 2

Well, Grandpa Matz is stunned. Rightfully so. Nobody, not even his family, should have to witness a team where their pitcher son is the best hitter on the team. But here we are.

I thought the Mets should concede game 1. I knew we’d never score and I’d rather lose in 9 than keep Matz waiting and screw him up for life. I was wrong. The extra waiting made him nervous and he let up a leadoff dinger, but he settled the fuck down and mowed em the fuck down. We’ve got another live one!! He also claimed in the postblow that the extra waiting didn’t have an effect, but that was just him not wanting to throw his team under the bus.

The theme of this double header was “pitching.” But really, the theme was, “the Mets are trying to be aggressive on the base paths because they never get hits but they’re also slow as shit so they’re out every time they get aggressive.” And by aggressive, I mean blasting balls into the corners and being thrown out by a mile trying to “stretch” it into a double. Blame the slippery field if you want, but we’re slower than a turtle with downs. And not a ninja turtle, neither. Reyes would have had triples off some of those balls. Oh, except Herrera. He basically won the 1st game with his baserunning. He’s fast! He’s 20! All in for 2017 lineup!

Game 2 was the first time in SIX DAYS (six!) that the Mets reached the MOUNTAIN of a milestone of scoring 3 runs. And the game six days ago, they lost 6-4. And before that, there were 3 more days of 2 runs or less. So for 8 out of their last 10, they’ve scored 2 or less. And a no hitter (shutout) two days before that. That’s the craziest stat I’ve ever seen. And we at Metsblow say, “that’s the craziest stat ever” routinely.

Oh and 1 of the runs today was unearned. Oh and we had the bases loaded and no outs but didn’t score. 3 runs was seemingly the HARD CAP for our employees. BUT WAIT! Matz had 4 RBIs. So our lineup reached their 3 run cap, and our pitcher got 4. Astounding. Our pitchers are our best hitters and should play the field on non-pitching days.

In the words of Grandpa Matz, “HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!”

Off day Monday. Cubs in town on Tuesday. We played a four-game series against them at Wrigley in May. Guess how many games we won. Go on, guess. I’ll wait. It rhymes with Masahiro*.

*All might be well in the universe, because Tanaka is getting shellllled. I can’t believe he didn’t get TJ. I don’t understand training staffs/cosmic forces/God is a Yankee fan, but one thing I know is that everyone on the Mets needs TJ.

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