Post/Preblow: Mets Shill Media Celebrates Walk-Off Win

Mets 5, Phils 4. F/10

I’m happy for Wilmer. I really am. Wally Backman said he was clutch. He got the game-tying sac fly in the 8th, and the game-winning hit in the 10th. He’s clutch. He’s hitting. Excellent. Wilmer Tha Gawd!

BUT SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT WHAT A HAPPY NIGHT IT WAS! Fucking shills. Last night was a disaster. Last night was a game where we BARELY SCRATCHED a scrub doodoo pitcher. Last night was a game where we blew a lead and a would-be shutout for one of our many aces. Our rotation must all want the FUCK off this team. What’s a guy gotta do to get a fucking W? Oh, right, a CGSO. We’ve been saying that here at Metsblow all fucking season and it’s truer than gravity.

The story of last night: we struggled mightily against the worst team in baseball.

One of the reasons the Phils are the worst is that they’re mentally challenged. How the fuck can teams (or this team, at least) plan/strategize to pitch to Duda? That’s retaaaarded. I can’t believe they pitch to him. Murph behind him is good protection (though it’s lefty-lefty, which isn’t a big deal). But even with Murph, it’s soooo dumb. You take your chances that Murph dunks one and even if he doubles it’ll be 2nd and 3rd because Duda and the whole team are as slow as molasses in January. Also the molasses has Down Syndrome.

It’s crazy to think, but it’s actually true that the Phillies (and Mets while we’re at it) front office and mgmt team knows less than we* do.

*we = me and the Metsblow army #Metsblowers

How do these millionaires not understand to walk Duda every time? Every single fucking time. Conventional wisdom says that you avoid baserunners no matter what, but conventional wisdom also says that you don’t have a dumpster fire of minor leaguers batting 6-7-8 in the lineup.

Preblow: You already know what it is. The Phillies and some doodoo starter named Sean O’Sullivan with a career ERA of 5.66 vs Thor. Let’s see the Mets offense make O’Sullivan look like Halladay and let’s see Thor best him anyway.

P.S. Bring up Conforto! Florida State League Player of the Week means he’s already the 3rd best hitter on the Mets!

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