First, the postblow: Mets 6, Phillies 3. Nobody cares. Umps wanted to go home for Memorial Day. Everybody struck out. There were some dingers. NOBODY CARES. Mets beat the Phillies. WOOHOO WE’RE BAAAAAACK. Colon hit a single. Nice. Cuddyer hit a homer run (to the 2nd deck) and did a bat flip. 2nd deck bat flip! .100 pts below career avg bat flip! Recker, at one point, K’d and his bat went flying into the stands. Bat flip!

Second, I received intel of this tweet–here at Metsblow we have our little birds everywhere–without context and assumed it was about Jon Niese and his schnoz. Nope! It’s about Alderson and his lies. FACT. Straight up FACT. Sandy Alderson is 100% unequivocally a “fucking Pinocchio ass nigga.”

Alderson is probably going to extend Recker’s contract. I know Recker is exploring his options in the Mexican Leagues, so you better do something quickly, Sandy! He only made a fielding AND throwing error to let the final out K reach 1st base. No biggie! Contract extension!

As for the “fucking Pinocchio ass nigga” not making any moves until TDA and Wright come back, where does he stand now? When the doctor advises Wright to retire, do you think the Mets will move Flores to 3rd? NOPE! They’re going to lie, because that’s what else is a “fucking Pinocchio ass nigga” going to do? He’ll say, “Wright will be back in a month! Just a small setback!” And they won’t move Wilmer to 3rd. And they won’t do anything…except lose. We will continue to be the worst team (we are the worst May team this season), despite having the best pitching. It’s unheard of. It’s legendary.

Finally, the preblow: We play the Phillies tonight. Nobody gives a shit. Whoopdee-freakin-doo.

P.S. The Wilpons made Wright pay out of pocket for his flight to California to see the back specialist. Also the flight was uncomfortable and a tremendous strain on his thinning spinal column.

P.P.S. Galvis bunted with his foot on home plate and that’s not challenge-able so oooops it counts and then the Phils tied the game later that inning. Anything being unchallenge-able is retaaaarded. It makes no sense. That’s what instant replay is for, you fucks. It’s the same with the government. Next black guy to get murked by the cops is gonna have a family. The family is gonna want to see the replay and get justice. The gov’t is gonna be like, “nah, his foot was on the base. Not challenge-able.”