3 in a row!? Hey, let’s crown em!! Above .500!? WOW!! Crown their asses!

Niese is dead. He’s not a major leaguer anymore, anyway. Fake deGrom Gsellman looked sharp in his debut. Real deGrom goes tomorrow, so this series is a wrap! Not like he’s ever blown a big lead (I’m confident he’ll bounce back).

Matz is dead. Pray for him.

Remember last year how we got EXPOSED for having horrendous defense? I think that still comes into play. Instead of Duda chucking it and Murphy booting it, we’ve got guys like Cabrera making slick ass plays. Cespedes made a monster grab, too. He belongs in LF. Just fucking listen to him. He says, “I prefer left,” so let him play fucking left. The team really goes as he goes, and I think everyone just feels good with him in the lineup, myself included. Of course, we were also exposed by the Royals for being poorly coached/trained. Not sure how to fix that one.

Pray for Doc. I don’t even consider Straw a narc, here. Dude’s concerned about his boy. He’s intervening. There’s a difference between intervening and tattling.

With a schnoz like his, no wonder the Jewpons brought him back.

Not Harvey. Not Wheeler. Big Logan had his chance. We rely on Niese now. Jon fucking Niese. Swing for the fences, buddy! If Thor can do it, so can you!

We’re gonna lose another series to the D-Backs and their healthy Cubano. That’s really something.

 

UPDATE: We lost and Niese got shelled. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN? Now we’ll face the Giants, who are far better than the D-Backs. Can we put the season to bed yet? deGrom vs Bumgarner would’ve looked like a riveting matchup preseason. Maaaaaan he can’t wait to be on a team that doesn’t blow.