THE WHEELS HAVE FALLEN OFF!!

Crash boom bang
Crash boom bang

Yesterday, Harvey got shelled and we lost 8-2. But enough Postblow, this is much deeper than one game.

THE WHEELS HAVE FALLEN THE FUCK OFF.

David Wright is going to retire. He has METS AIDS aka spinal stenosis. He will never return. It’s over. The end of an era. The greatest Met since Seaver. It’s over. Thoughts and prayers.

Now batting…your 3rd baseman…RUUUUUBEEENNNN TEEJAAAADDDDAAAAA.

Lucas Duda pulled a hammie. He’s out, too! The only impact bat on the team. Gone. Good God Almighty.

Juan Lagares has also been scratched! He’s hitting .175 since the collision with Cuddy. “Oh, he’s fine,” said the Mets doctors. Oopsie.

Also Gee is being forced to make another rehab start and claims that he’s, “wasting bullets.” Hahahah, nice job, Sandy! Way to make the whole pitching staff hate you.

We’re running out of wheels to fall off, here! It’s a 4-wheel car, and we’ve lost 5 wheels, a mathematical impossibility. Pack it up. It’s all over, people.

Sandy Alderson said he wouldn’t make a trade until he sees the lineup with TDA and Wright. Well, that’s NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN. “Ooooh dang, and I was gonna make a trade, too. But, you know my rule.” -Sandy, on D-Wright’s impending retirement.

The only good thing (and this is a gigantic reach) is that the lil bitch from 710 is going crazy. I give him credit. I don’t like him. I don’t like any of the guys they’ve positioned to replace Howie, but I respect that he’s going crazy right now. He’s saying that this is the year and that we CAN’T look to 2016. We have to sell the farm and go all in right now. And I agree. The pitching is too good to waste.

OH WAIT! NEVERMIND!! The word is in from the Wilpons! Wright will be back tomorrow!!!

And Reyes, too! Phew, that was a close one.

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