OK, let’s go to Pittsburgh. This team sucks, right? Our pitching is great, right? Check out the matchups:

Thor vs Cole

Harvey vs Burnett

Niese vs Liriano

Notice anything? I noticed that their pitchers are good–very good. Are ours better? Yes, absolutely. But their pitchers are going to MOW US DOWN. They have decent hitting, and we don’t. Get ready for more of the same from your New York Metropolitans.

P.S. Watch Kang…you know, that Korean infielder that we passed on…rake against us. Watch. Are you watching? An infielder with an avg/obp/ops of .313/.378/.828 for less than 3mil/year? WHY THE FUCK WOULD WE WANT THAT!?

P.P.S. Mr. Metsblow with his owner’s hat on begged for the singing of Kang in the offseason. BEGGED.