The Mets start a three-game series in Philly tonight. Harvey v Hamels in game 1. Choooo. The Phils’ lineup is doooogshit. It’s worse than the Mets’ lineup, and that’s saying something. Harvey must mow ’em down. We must take 2 of 3 in Philly. They’re stinky doodoo dogshit. Nuff said.

You know who loves hitting Hamels and lefties in general? David Wright. Oooooh his poor back. Or was it his hamstring? Or was it his shoulder? The beauty of the Mets is that you ALWAYS know what you’re dealing with. They’re ALWAYS lying. They’re not wishy-washy at all. They’re 100% reverse-guarantees every time. The second they said that Wright would be back by “May 15,” we could all take solace in the complete, indisputable truth that he would not be back on May 15. I wonder what the Vegas oddsmakers had his return date prop-bet set as. I imagine after the May 15 announcement from the Jewbrass, Vegas set the O/U at about the all-star break.

This means Herrera will get more playing time (at 2nd, with Murph moved to 3rd), assumedly. “Phew, good thing Wright got hurt, now I don’t have to make any decisions!” -Sandy