The Mets have not hit the panic button yet. However, they did hit the, “oh, damn, we kinda suck up the middle” button. This, of course, is the same button Mets fans have been mashing since day 1 of the offseason…of 2010.

The Mets have signed free-agent infielder Brooks Conrad. Conrad, 35, has a career .200 hitter, with a .271 OBP, 19 HR and 73 RBI in 460 major league at-bats. He is a switch hitter and has mostly played second and third base during his professional career.

“We like what he brings to the table and thinks he’s a good addition to the organization,” a  team official told Rubin. The team official then went on to say, “we actually don’t really like him. He’s really shitty. However, Murphy is soooooo shitty at 2nd base that we need somebody while Herrera preps to take his spot. Murphy isn’t hitting for shit, so there’s nothing saving him. I’ve never seen a player play so badly in a contract year.”

P.S. Why the fuck wasn’t Murphy DHing this weekend? Preposterous.

*UPDATE: Metsblog has responded to this post by posting a, “Murphy is totally going to turn it around!” post. Awesome job, Metsblog. Totally awesome. Yes, Murphy is still in Spring Training. Yes, he gets another month. Yes, his hitting will probably come around. However, him and Flores at 2B and SS is still, defensively, the worst middle infield combo in Mets history, and Murphy is batting .150, so stop arguing with facts just because the Wilpons pay your salary. I know it’s the Wilpons’ specialty to argue with facts (and to fire pregnant women), but one time for me please stop being such lackeys and also stop being so afraid of me by posting the kinds of responses like the one you just posted.