Opening Day Lineup Breakdown

Welp, we did it. Hoooooray. We’re in 1st place!

Here’s our lineup:

Juanny Beisbol


Captain America

The Big Lebowski

Kid Cuddy


Flo the Progressive Boy

d’Arnaud (he and deGrom make up the d-battery).

The takeaway: For the first time since Reyes and Beltran and Lo Duca and Delgado left, there are NO black holes. On a scale of [-1, 0, 1], we finally have no negatives. We don’t have someone who is a minor leaguer aka detriment to the team.

Of course, our bench is still shallow and shitty. For fucks sake Endy Chavez hit over .300! Our bench players raked! So the key is that this starting lineup stays healthy. With our bargain bin medical staff, I think it’s unlikely, but ya gotta believe! We’re in 1st place!!

P.S. I would looooove to see Big Sexy outduel Scherzer today. The Nats have won NOTHING! They have earned NOTHING! They are currently the 1x defending NL east champs. That isn’t a dynasty. That isn’t dick. All they’ve done is shit the bed in the playoffs. Losers. Oh and they’ve also stomped the shit out of the Mets for a few years running now. LET’S GO METS!

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