This rule is preposterous for anyone other than Steve “The Human Rain Delay” Trachsel. It’s in the minors now, but it’ll be in the majors soon enough.

I’m disgusted. It is unreal propaganda. Absolute unequivocal billionare owner nonsense. They’re at the helm deflecting attention away from the hours and hours of commercials…we’ll be right back.

*SOMEBODY LEFT THE GATE OOOOOPPPEEENNN!!!*

…hours and hours of commercials and having their lackeys support the deferral. Anyone who complains about pitchers getting focused or batters stepping out of the box…we’ll be right back.

*Celino and Barnes! Industry Attorneys!*

…stepping out of the box needs is either some billionaire’s puppy dog or just needs to open their eyes and look beyond the media propaganda. Also, when batters start getting strikes tacked on or runners start getting to advance due to batter or pitcher delays, they’re gonna flip out! And the manager is gonna flip out! And as the manager comes out to argue the bullshit call, guess what!? We’ll be right back!

*Dial 7 dial 7 dial it 7 times! We’re pickin you up!*

*I have a hole in my throat from smoking. I can’t even play catch with my son. [Cue the horribly graphic imagery].*

P.S. Dana from the car dealership could get it. But why the fuck are you wearing a Yankee hat on SNY? Bad marketing. Bad advertising. It doesn’t matter because I’ll be looking at the back of the cap anyway.