How Will Amed Rosario Die?


Rosario arrives many moments too late. But hey, all in for 2018.

Everyone loves him. It's a LOCK that he's great. Scouts unanimously name him an all-star. He'll be our shortstop for 15 years. Everyone loves him.

So how will this crash and burn? Here are some options:

-After batting below the Mendoza line for two years, the Mets trade him to the Yankees, where Amed miraculously "figures it out" and becomes the all-star he was born to be.

-taxi cab accident

-burned alive by Khaleesi

-shattered leg from a Chase Utley slide. The ump awards Chase an extra base for his bravery.

-hit in the head by a Scherzer fastball. The Mets do not retaliate.

-Everyone loves his throwing arm. So the smart money is on his arm falling off during a routine throw to 1st.

-chair drops on his head during baby Jeffy Jewpon's bar mitzvah.

The biggest question: WHEN will things go horribly wrong for Amed?

-Now. Things just never pan out. He never gets the bat going and never pushes past mediocrity. Similar to Montero or Milledge, he's just another overhyped prospect. Maybe not "overhyped" but just due to Metsaids, things never work out.

-During a stretch run next year. In a late-summer pennant race, Amed gets hurt in-game and goes down for the year. The deflated Mets lose the game and sign a retired Reyes to fill in, and the Mets miss the playoffs by 1 game. *I would say Amed getting hurt next Summer is more likely than just being a bust, but in order for this prophecy to come true, the Mets would have to be in a pennant race. Not bloody likely!

Good luck, Amed. You're doomed. Yo is still the savior so no pressure and all-in for 2018 when everyone's (not) healthy.

Valar Metsghoulis. All Mets must die.

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